The Random Conversation Thread (for Casey)

[SomethingElse]

Apparently I wouldn't know if someone liked me unless they hit me in the face with a hammer and told me outright. Not sure why the hammer's necessary - I'm not dense enough so that if someone told me they liked me (okay, and explained in what way!) I'd not 'get it'. I hope not, anyway.

[Sophist]

Hitting them with a hammer is a funny way to show someone you love them.

Well I was in the pub yesterday (delivering sandwiches, not buying drinks) and I didn't even realise that the barmaid was interested in me until my sister pointed it out to me as we left, with the ways she was asking questions. I'm still not convinced - but I never saw anything either way.

See, this kind of thing confuses the heck out of me. How does asking questions mean she's interested in anything other than what she's asking you about? I'm amazed anyone can tell these things!

Does that mean you get to ask her out next time you're in the pub?

I'm starting to realize (now living in the city and getting used to "the look" than some guys can give when interested) that most people will not ask certain types of questions, or in certain ways, simply to be polite. So it may be a safe bet to assume that if someone is showing an interest in something you're saying, it may be a come-on.

I didn't get this before, and would basically require the hammer approach that Benji mentioned. Before, I used to think, "Well, what if they're just honestly interested in what I'm saying?" I'm realizing how infrequently this actually occurs, lol.

I am thoroughly content and in love with Manny, but since I've been with him I sort of exude Attraction (I think Aspen and a couple of us have discussed it before as the In Love thing that seems to emanate from every pore). For some reason, I'm better able to tell when others are more interested. I think perhaps because I myself am just more aware and looking for it. Before, even when I was interested in relationships, I wasn't "aware".

I think when it comes to flirting, etc., it's a matter of multitasking. We tend to suck at multitasking, so if we're just not focusing on it and KNOW what we're looking for (which, perhaps, just comes with more experience) then we don't see it and start second guessing ourselves and say "She may be trying to be nice that's all."

Before, I didn't know what to look for. Now, I have a much better idea. I don't need to have some guy whistling at me to know he's interested. And I find that's like many things: I didn't know how to do things until I had a good picture in mind. Now, I have a better "flirting" picture in mind and so I don't miss as many things. Granted, I still probably miss stuff. But at least I'm not as thick as before, no hammer required.

[CaseyAllan]

Apparently I wouldn't know if someone liked me unless they hit me in the face with a hammer and told me outright. Not sure why the hammer's necessary - I'm not dense enough so that if someone told me they liked me (okay, and explained in what way!) I'd not 'get it'. I hope not, anyway.

I'd probably pick up it if they said it straight out (without the need for a hammer) but if they cushioned it with extra conversation I'd most likely be completely oblivious.

[goddessoflubbock]

DH revealed to me today (at the beginning of March) that he would like a shih tzu for his birthday (which is at the end of October).

He does not like to be disappointed. I think his plans are that if I said no (which I did - we have 2 dogs already) then he'd have time to squirrel away spare change and such to have enough by Oct to buy a dog himself. LOL

[CaseyAllan]

Lol. So if he buys it himself, now that you've said "no", he still gets to keep it right? Ha, that's cool

[goddessoflubbock]

I've been in charge of the pursestrings since I learned early on (in the dark and cold) that he buys what he "needs" and then pays bills with what's "left".

So with most things, yeah if he squirrels away the money and it doesn't come from the "budget", I don't care. (He has some 2,000 + CD's and DVD's).

The dog thing I'm standing firm on. We already have the poodle and the dachshund. He's just upset that the dachshund (which he wanted and picked out) has not chosen to be "his" dog. None of our dogs ever has. He doesn't have a dog vibe I guess

As I write this, both dogs are sleeping on me. They could be on him, on the bed. But they choose me.....over which I have no control.

[CaseyAllan]

...The dog thing I'm standing firm on. We already have the poodle and the dachshund. He's just upset that the dachshund (which he wanted and picked out) has not chosen to be "his" dog. None of our dogs ever has. He doesn't have a dog vibe I guess ...

Lol, guess his hope springs eternal

I have a younger cousin like that -- all the dogs on the croft turn and walk away as soon as he calls them to come to him. Truly interesting part is that they'll also ignore any doggie treats he waves in their direction.

[Sophist]

So what's he gonna do when the third dog chooses to be your dog as well? Has he thought of that?

[Civet]

I'm not sure about dogs but my dad is apparently a major cat person. He doesn't like any pets, (and is generally very antisocial toward humans, too!) which is why it's so amusing. My cat Pandora is always very shy around anyone new and she'll usually just run away or shrink away if someone tries to pet her. With my dad, though, the first time they met she walked right up to him, curled up and took a nap with him on my futon! When I brought her to my parents' house over the holiday she was mostly indifferent to visitors, but ran right up to my father and rubbed all over his legs when he entered the room. He said a lot of cats do that. I think they sense a "kindred spirit" .

[Sophist]

So is your dad a reluctant cat person, or does he just secretly love cats but tries not to let others know?

[SomethingElse]

I know a few people who seem to be of the belief that cats tend to approach people who don't like cats... Or who are indifferent, at least. Moreso than people who are affectionate towards cats. Obviously this probably depends on the cat (for example, when Cleo was still a little feral, and only liked my immediate family, she would only approach new people who ignored her - now she's more confident but also people aren't as much of a novelty to her, either.

[Civet]

Sophist, I'm not sure about cats, but I think he secretly likes dogs, actually, haha! He just can not stand the hair and the nails and the noise (he is a bit... obsessive over the cleanliness of his house).

Benji, I've heard people say cats will always go to the person who is allergic, or who doesn't like cats, but I think this is mostly a joke about the nature of cats, haha. I agree that in actuality it depends a lot on the cat, though overall I find cats tend to be more comfortable if you allow them to come to you. So maybe that is why they could be attracted more to the indifferent people.

[goddessoflubbock]

When I'm out on the patio with the family and a cat comes wandering in, they will invariably jump on my lap. While I don't hate cats at all, I am terribly allergic (upper respiratory, hives, the works) and so have a definite aversion to live ones in my presence! No one else in the family is even mildly allergic...

As for the dogs - my chair doesn't have room for one more!

So...DS got a new phone, but the keypad jiggles. He went to the store on Friday - DH dropped him off while doing errands - and DS got nowhere with it.

He does really well with tallking to strangers now, but he cannot assert himself. He would never demand to see a manager or insist that he is right.

So I'm taking his phone into Sprint tomorrow.

I know it's a hard thing to do, and many adults never develop that ability.

[adhocisadirtyword]

My husband's allergic to cats and also in general doesn't really like them. Everytime we go anywhere with a cat, he's the first person they come to. My daughter and I have to pry the cats away from him sometimes -- and they still keep trying.

I think it really helped my assertiveness to work in call centers. I was never on the phone, but dealt with enough reports on escalations that I realized sometimes that is the only way of getting something done.

Now I escalate at the slightest hint that it's not going in the direction I want. I've even written to a CEO before (and got my issue solved very promptly). At least executives usually know the cost of poor customer service.

[SomethingElse]

I'm terrible at asserting myself. My brother isn't argumentative at all, but can just about force an issue if he really needs to. My mum will argue with people (sometimes embarrassing if she's misunderstood and is asserting herself when she should actually back down, or is using the wrong argument to do so). R's dad will argue things that are actually irrelevant and get his own way. For example, he apparently complained that he couldn't remember his PIN number and got sent a special card that meant he doesn't have to put his pin in. I'm not sure how the hell this would work, so I'm not sure if R has confused the facts, but he would argue over something like that, even though the point of chip and pin is that people won't be able to use your card!