Alexithymia online questionnaire

[beware_the_sluagh]

I wasn't sure whether to post this or not as I am not so much in the mood for discussing what is wrong with us all at the moment - you know, talking about our problems sort of seems depressing after a while - but then I decided to anyway because I have the link and I am bored

After the article about ASCs, alexithymia, etc - whatever it was called - then I looked up alexithymia because I was intrigued about it, and I found almost NO information, and what I did find was mostly just copied and repeated from one site to the next. But basically it is not being able to express emotions in words, and some places also said it was about not knowing what your emotions were, which ones you were experiencing, and getting them confused with other sensations, and with physical sensations. I found this quiz, which gives you a score of possibly "having" this or not.
http://oaq.blogspot.com/

Scoring works like this (I had to score it manually as it didn't work for me by clicking the button, there is also an alternative link you can click near the "score" button if it doesn't work on your computer, but I didn't want it to wipe my answers and wasn't sure whether it would, or if I'd be able to refer back to them or what - maybe test it with just a few answers filled in if you are worried it might not work).

Maximum possible score is 185. This test uses cutoff scoring: equal to or less than 94 = non-alexithymia, equal to or greater than 113 = alexithymia. Scores of 95 to 112 = possible alexithymia. Forcing a respondent to give an answer to each question may cause frustration because it is quite possible that a particular question just doesn't apply, thus disrupting the flow of the process. For this reason, unanswered questions are defaulted as "undecided" and given a medium score of 3.

I got 129, which is a fair amount above the cut-off of 113. Since there is little discussion on it available, it's hard to really compare with descriptions to see how you feel the score compares with actuality. Also, what does it mean/matter? I'm not sure...

In some ways, it is hard to know whether or not it is difficult to express emotions in words, because how often do I actually express them anyway? There are not many examples to draw upon. And what do they mean by hard - how do I know what other people experience with these things?! Some of the questions are also difficult to answer because they ask you how others describe you - no one describes me as anything, so I don't have much info to go on there.

Anyway, there are various "resonances" with the descriptions I read, obviously as that's why I looked it up and did the quiz in the first place. But I don't think I shall write about them now.

[renaeden]

I did it because I like questionnaires and I got a score of 134. I did have to add it up myself, the "evaluate test results" button didn't work.

I have not had much practice in telling people my emotions specifically, so my score could be higher because of that.

[SomethingElse]

I got 127, but most of the questions I struggled to answer and had to go with 'undecided'. Asking questions about how I experience feelings seems to be a bit backwards what with the subject of the test! I never know the answers to questions like that. I can never imagine how I feel in certain situations or what I'd feel if in a situation, so I can't draw on experience to answer the kinds of questions they had in that questionnaire.

[ruth]

I got 133. I have been having a tough time in my therapy sessions when the doctor asks me "And how are you feeling right now?" or "And how did that make you feel?" after I have related an experience or a dream. I keep telling him "I don't know." Then when he presses me for an answer I go through a list of things that I think are feelings, sometimes saying "Is that a feeling?" This bothers me, but gee, I've lived all these years without knowing how certain things make me feel and no real harm has come to me, so maybe it's not all that important. I use the word "feel" alot when speaking, but I think I am using it in place of the word "think." For example, I feel "awful" or I feel "hungry" or I feel "crappy" but are awful, hungry and crappy really emotions? Last week he asked me to draw a picture of my family as it existed when I was 8 or 9 years old. Afterwards he asked me how the picture made me feel. I couldn't answer because I didn't know. He persisted until finally I said "angry" but only because I had to give him an answer and the picture was drawn as a way of relating to a troubling dream. And by this time, I actually was feeling angry by his prodding for me to choose an emotion. Actually, prior to drawing the picture I related an incest dream (I don't believe incest actually occurred in my life), but it did occur in the dream. So I figured (to myself) that anger would be appropriate if incest actually had occurred, so I said "anger." Then he wanted to know what color I would paint the picture. I told him I would paint it many different colors because I had dressed my family and their clothes would be various colors. He said "No, what would be the overall color of the background of this picture?" I said blue and white and a little touch of lavender (because I doubt that incest happened) - but didn't say that I doubted it to him. When he asked what color would I associate with the dream, I said red and yellow because I think that red and yellow, red at least, indicate passion and hence anger. Yellow is my favorite color (didn't tell him that.) He then asked me again about the color of the picture (as if I would like to change my mind) and I insisted that the picture would be blue, white and lavender, which incidentally were the colors in the shirt I was wearing. What does it all mean? I don't know.

[beware_the_sluagh]

I got 127, but most of the questions I struggled to answer and had to go with 'undecided'. Asking questions about how I experience feelings seems to be a bit backwards what with the subject of the test! I never know the answers to questions like that. I can never imagine how I feel in certain situations or what I'd feel if in a situation, so I can't draw on experience to answer the kinds of questions they had in that questionnaire.

yes, this is my experience with these kind of questions too.
a lot of questions in there were hard to answer.
This is often the case with quizes that are supposed to tell you more about yourself - you have to already know about yourself to answer them!

I see we all, so far, have scored very highly. Interesting, I guess - although people who have trouble describing ANYTHING in spoken words are obviously going to have trouble with the subgroup of emotions, and thus it becomes a bit meaningless.

[MercuryGrrl]

It's almost like I don't want to write my score here, as it was very high.

Although, I am, in a way, capable of describing my emotions in writing (have done so in my personal blogging). I know if I feel "bad", and I've become very analytic as to which kind of bad it is - I can, I think, deduct that I am feeling depressed due to other things that the feeling of "bad". Not sure, but this could be connected to how I analyze other people as well. I know my husband's body language (or, at least some of it) so well that I know how he moves, sitting down, when he has to go to the bathroom. In order to be able to interact with others, this has become a necessity (for me).

[Belfast]

This is often the case with quizes that are supposed to tell you more about yourself - you have to already know about yourself to answer them! :?

That line you wrote right there-I feel like screaming it in bold caps. Exactly ! Aargh !

The "tabulate results" button doesn't do anything so I printed it out & figured my scores. Got a 104. "Scores of 95 to 112=possible alexithymia".

Read whole explanation (I appreciate that this was included) at bottom of page, on the "target factors" so I broke down my scores within those areas (number of questions in section, my score subtotal, and average in each section):

F1- difficulty identifying feelings 6 items/18 points/average=3.00
F2- difficulty describing feelings 4 items/11 pts./avg.=2.75
F2b- vicarious interpretation of feelings 3 items/13 pts./avg.=4.33
F3- externally oriented thinking 7 items/14 pts./avg.=2.00
F4- restricted imaginative processes 7 items/15 pts./avg.=2.14
F5- problematic interpersonal relationships 6 items/19 pts./avg.=3.16
F5b- sexual difficulties and disinterest 4 items/14 pts./avg.=3.50

I answered "undecided" for many items. Many questions forced me to pick between polarities that I have divided loyalties towards. Cannot honestly choose only one or the other extreme position, because the truth is "both" (either at same time, or alternating, depending on specific circumstance). This is continual problem when I've done those "thinking OR feeling" tests, that give one results of INTJ or that sort of thing. I can't make these distinctions reliably.

Also, many questions that I could explain as being true for me are for reasons other than alexithymia. For instance, sex embarrasses me intensely-thus my answer to Q25 (about feeling incompetent, awkward, uncomfortable in sexual situations)-I put "strongly agree". However, on Q17, (about whether sex is functional/practical rather than emotional), I put "undecided"-because those terms aren't separable for me. If something has emotionally useful effects for me, that in itself is practical/functional utility, to my mind.

Not to mention, this is from current (level of maturity-acquired skills & experiences that I've reflected upon) vantage point. My answers would likely be more indicative of alexithymia in my younger years. Nonetheless, I enjoyed taking the quiz-despite having all sorts of quibbles with the particulars.

[Sophist]

I took this one a little while ago when hesperus brought it up. Iirc, I got something like 122 or thereabouts.

This is often the case with quizes that are supposed to tell you more about yourself - you have to already know about yourself to answer them!

That line you wrote right there-I feel like screaming it in bold caps. Exactly ! Aargh !

Ah yes, the bane of self-reporting: you gotta know what you're reporting.

[Charlie]

I don't know if I really want to post my score as it is shockingly high comared to the average on here. Then again, I have always said I find it hard to undersand my emotions and those of other people.

I had to count it myself, and of the 37 questions 22 scored 5pts, 10 scored 4, 4 scored 3 (undecided - including 1 by default as I have never had a strong relationship) and a solitary 1 for one question - which was do I daydream. I put I did, but it is not really dreaming it is more like tuning out. Anyway, that made my total score 163 by my calculations. I think I am a little embarrassed by it, as I don't want it to be seen like this is a competition to who has the highest score. I don't mind having the highest score, I think I would have preferred it to be a little closer to the rest of the group's total. I feel like a bit of a freak

[beware_the_sluagh]

I feel like a bit of a freak

Given that the average person would score under 94, I think we're all a little bit weird here.... But remember, it's only an internet test!

Given that it's so hard for me to find much good info on it, I wonder as to the value and validity of the whole thing - although they say (somewhere) that psychoanalysis is ineffective or even harmful for people with alexithymia, which implies, if they managed to find that out, that they have done substantial studies on the whole thing. But anyway - everyone here be wary of psychoanalysis!!

The things this all related to for me were:

People asking me - what's wrong, why are you sad, how do you feel - and me not having any kind of answer, ever. I don't even understand how to answer those questions, they're just stupid.

My "discovering" what the emotions were that I was feeling and how to express them, what facial expressions, etc. When I was younger, I would feel stuff but have no expression to go with it. But over time, watching tv, I'd see how people expressed various emotions (tv is a lot more obvious than real life) and I could use those expressions myself.

Maybe a connection with how when I felt very happy, or very sad, I might look in the mirror and see no expression, or only a mild one, despite my extreme emotion on the inside - this was very disconcerting, even frightening.

Most of my emotions have been identified by the physical feeling I feel with them. Like, what is love? For a long time I did not understand what this emotion could be and didn't think I felt it, but then I matched it with a particular feeling that seems like a physical sensation to me. This feeling, which can be mild or very strong, occurred at appropriate times to be love, and thus I decided that's what it must be. Now when I feel that sensation I say that it is love. I don't generally explain it to people, because people think of emotions, especially love, as being some thing that if you don't have them normally you must be some kind of psychopath or something. (I sometimes even worry that I've got the sensations matched up with the right words exactly.) But pretty much all the emotions I actually FEEL them. Recently, after doing the quiz etc, I wrote an email to Gwri about the strongest "love" feeling that can occur with me, which feels like a kind of light pouring out of me to the person/animal I love, and I can feel it doing so. This is only the pure love emotion - it doesn't involve fear of loss, possessiveness, or other emotions that often come associated with it. I remember where I was when I first decided this sensation went with this word, and at the time I was feeling love for everyone in the world

Belfast - what you wrote was interesting. Also, I did not think to look at my results vs. the groupings, I might have to try that. Also, I agree with the problems you highlight with regards to this quiz and these kind of questions.

[MercuryGrrl]

I don't know if I really want to post my score as it is shockingly high comared to the average on here. Then again, I have always said I find it hard to undersand my emotions and those of other people.

I had to count it myself, and of the 37 questions 22 scored 5pts, 10 scored 4, 4 scored 3 (undecided - including 1 by default as I have never had a strong relationship) and a solitary 1 for one question - which was do I daydream. I put I did, but it is not really dreaming it is more like tuning out. Anyway, that made my total score 163 by my calculations. I think I am a little embarrassed by it, as I don't want it to be seen like this is a competition to who has the highest score. I don't mind having the highest score, I think I would have preferred it to be a little closer to the rest of the group's total. I feel like a bit of a freak

I had 154. I'm glad you posted your score.

[hesperus]

I think I recall scoring around the same as Sophist. It helped explain some of the difficulties I've had with therapists (putting aside any incompetence on their part, that is) and how I'd struggle to answer people's questions on my feelings and preferences. In therapy, for example, I'd struggle with the first question: "How are you?", and would usually say "Errr".

What got me interested in this a couple of months ago was how the counsellor I was seeing at the time seemed confused about the definition of emotional intelligence (which is poorly defined) and recalling that I usually score low on such tests. It seems to be an area that's very much neglected by therapists. I'd have expected alexithymia would be quite common in those attending therapy, but was told by the therapist that her clients usually take the initiative and launch into whatever issues they wish to discuss .

[Charlie]

One of the hardest questions in life I am asked, and often on a daily basis (at least) is "How are you?"

How do you go about answering it? I "aquire" how I am feeling, not by verbal means, as words are somewhat crude and it is nearly impossible to use them to to describe the workings of the body. I don't use words to work out my internal feelings - I use a method which draws from the internal pressures of my body and looks at the current environment to accertain how stressors are affecting me. This is still a crude manner of even describing it - words can never do it justice.

Where I play/umpire indoor cricket a couple of the managers remark to me that I never give them a straight answer to their questions. Maybe not, but I intend to give them an honest answer. So if they ask "How are you?" I will take a few seconds to think about it the reply in an elaborate manner. I look at all the factors contributing to my current emotional state and then consider how to verbalise it in a satisfactoy manner. The closest to a straitforward answer I could manage is "I guess I am OK" or "I'm fine I suppose."

I would never be able to truely discribe exactly how I was thinking unless the emotion was pure and raw. The easiest one of these to find is anger. All other times I am having to look at the levels of other emotions individually like happiness, frustration, excitement, fear, and so on and then work out what this would translate into as an overall picture. And as I am hopeless as mixing emotions together without being left in complete confusion as to how and what I am feeling, my mind just ends up as a confused mess, and I have to guess how I must be feeling. Thus the "I'm fine I suppose."

I hope this makes some sort of sense to you guys - I would not expect many NTs to understand it...

[SomethingElse]

I don't know if I really want to post my score as it is shockingly high comared to the average on here. Then again, I have always said I find it hard to undersand my emotions and those of other people.

I had to count it myself, and of the 37 questions 22 scored 5pts, 10 scored 4, 4 scored 3 (undecided - including 1 by default as I have never had a strong relationship) and a solitary 1 for one question - which was do I daydream. I put I did, but it is not really dreaming it is more like tuning out. Anyway, that made my total score 163 by my calculations. I think I am a little embarrassed by it, as I don't want it to be seen like this is a competition to who has the highest score. I don't mind having the highest score, I think I would have preferred it to be a little closer to the rest of the group's total. I feel like a bit of a freak

I think it speaks volumes that you were aware enough of yourself to acquire such a high score. My own result isn't accurate because most of the answers were 'undecided', so bearing in mind that most of us seem to be unable to answer the questions (let alone work out our own emotions in emotional situations), there's a good chance that your score is the more 'normal' one for us lot... If we all had your self awareness it's possible we'd all score around that amount (or most of us would).

So no need to feel like a freak, basically.

I'm actually quite jealous at how well you know yourself - you might not know your emotions, but at least you're aware enough fo them (even if it's the confusion involved) to have been able to answer the questions either way. I can't imagine situations, so I can't recall the 'answers' to the questions. I get this a lot with questionnaires and envy those who are better able to answer the questions.

[Sophist]

I think I recall scoring around the same as Sophist. It helped explain some of the difficulties I've had with therapists (putting aside any incompetence on their part, that is) and how I'd struggle to answer people's questions on my feelings and preferences. In therapy, for example, I'd struggle with the first question: "How are you?", and would usually say "Errr".

Whenever somebody asks me how I am and I don't automatically shoot back "Fine" or "Well", I inevitably end up answering something that is more concrete and not about feelings at all, like:

"Tired"
"My back hurts"
"My sinuses are driving me crazy"

or my favorite humorous retort which usually gets a smirk, "That's a pretty heavy question to lay on a person this time of the morning".

But I never answer about my feelings, like "I'm feeling depressed" or "I'm happy", etc. Answering about such things is just... foreign. My brain doesn't go there. Plus my moods are always so associated with the physical that when I answer about my physical state I feel like I am answering about my mood.