S.O. is "remote"

[sympops]

So what can be done to cope/correct? My SO isn't talking to me (it's been 2 months) and I really don't know what to do. Married for a long time, but been out-of-work now for a while, and I suspect the financial woes are causing this non-communication. But I really don't know. And it gets very depressing. Still looking for employment, but that gets difficult when you don't really see any point in carrying on. And is that all our relationship is at this point - a financial arrangement? (De-motivated would be a nice term to use.)
Any thoughts? "Give me your thoughts."

[adhocisadirtyword]

Have you asked your SO why they're not talking? Would marriage counseling help?

It's always a tough spot when a marriage starts breaking down like that. I'm sorry. The negativity ends up feeding itself.

[Sophist]

Yes, maybe the direct approach might work? Sorry it's miserable for you right now, sympops. Hopefully opening the lines of communication will be the perfect remedy.

[sympops]

Ihave tried the "direct approach" before, and it goes nowhere. It seems we just end up arguing about arguing, or something like that.
Problem is, I want to find out (oho where does that come from I wonder) what and why and where, etc, but she just shuts herself off, and refuses to communicate in any way. She's always been like that.
Actually, I was just looking to get some "coping" strategies for myself. Getting involved in working only helps partially, and as you can imagine the whole thing just sits on the mental back burner bubbling away.
Yes, I do meditate, that helps, but the back burner is still there afterwards.
And like most ASpies I don't really have many friends. Sooooo. where to look for strategies to make do?

[goddessoflubbock]

Sympops - are there any support groups near you that you could join? Even if they aren't necessarly geared to AS, but something else relevant to your life - just to get positive feedback?

I will tell you that when my husband lost his last job (he has AS, I'm NT) it was tough. I was at times, admittedly, a little resentful. I felt like he "got" to stay at home, he could do whatever he chose with his time, etc. Once I finally opened my eyes to the fact that he took over the running of everything in the household I gave myself a good adjustment. I also didn't realize how poorly he felt about himself after losing his job. Too lost in my own well of "woe is me"....

Sometimes it's hard to appreciate the input others give when you can't match it apples for apples. I hope that you and your SO can work this out and find some common ground while you find something that makes you feel good about yourself.