Appointment Coming Up

[hesperus]

Hesperus, it's my experience that most medical professionals don't know a thing about ASDs. Also, if you mention autism to one of these, they're bound to disagree. There always seems to be prestige involved--after all, the patient can't possible know more than the Doctor.

What I've been able to gather about ASDs is that the traits are very dependent on the individual, and so many people get overlooked. In my case, I'd probably end up in the PDD-NOS category; that is, if I even managed to find an experienced diagnostician. I seem to be quite atypical.

One example I can think of was to do with my behaviour with regards to affection. I would put up with being cuddled and picked up, but I would rarely seek out affection (you know how children usually tend to put their arms up to be picked up - I never did that).

It's good that they don't take parents' words completely at face value; though I'm almost convinced my parents would skew the diagnostic interview, mainly because they don't seem to have much of a clue about me. However, it looks like I'd have to take them to any such interview if I want to get assessed at all.

I reckon that if I mention how I can't stand physical affection, my mother would probably dispute it in some way. Even now, if she catches me out with a hug, I either go limp or stiffen up (in both cases my arms are by my sides). I then express revulsion. But I think she projects her assumptions onto me and convinces herself that I do actually like it. My behavior even extends beyond that. That would be another thing, trying to hide my circumstances from them during an assessment. I haven't known anyone else who has these behaviors, and not even my previous therapists have. I suppose I'd have to have a separate diagnostic interview alone to mention these things, as they seem very relevant.

[SomethingElse]

I'm quite similar, actually. I don't really have an awful lot to be secretive about, but I seem to have a problem with realising when something might be relevent for my parents to know. Things they could actually help with, I mean. When I had depression and when I had problems at university the thought of seeking help didn't cross my mind, and then I ended up having to be secretive to avoid having them interfere or check up on me... and then I eventually realised that if I wanted to get through uni I'd have to have Mama Bear behind me.

I'm fine telling my parents I have a boyfriend, although as I've gotten older it's started to become a more uncomfortable subject, because of course sex now comes up in conversation which leads to my mum saying that she doesn't want to know if I've slept with anyone or anything like that, which still freaks me out a bit because I'd rather that whole subject was non-existent.

[hesperus]

I'm quite similar, actually. I don't really have an awful lot to be secretive about, but I seem to have a problem with realising when something might be relevent for my parents to know. Things they could actually help with, I mean. When I had depression and when I had problems at university the thought of seeking help didn't cross my mind, and then I ended up having to be secretive to avoid having them interfere or check up on me... and then I eventually realised that if I wanted to get through uni I'd have to have Mama Bear behind me.

I also went through it a long time before it occured to me to ask them for help. But it wasn't until things inside me boiled over, and was in the form of a meltdown. The thing that finally did this was sitting through another exercise class alone, and yet again having the lecturer hover over me wondering why I can't speak. And why do they always equate lack of interaction with lack of intelligence? Without even checking my academic record, he'd tell me things such as academic subjects in general wouldn't be very suitable for me. And another one would constantly patronise me. Anyway, when my meltdown/tantrum resulted in nothing, I knew for certain my parents couldn't help. What really annoyed me was how, even before this, my mother would notice things and without me saying anything would angrily tell me to go get help. So, I think me hiding things could be a learned behavior on top of an innate trait.

[SomethingElse]

It sounds like you received disgusting treatment from your tutors. I've been lucky in that people at uni are older than me so in my first year a group of older men took me under their wing. This didn't work very well for me because they still expected things of me I couldn't do (like going to locations for filming in strange areas, because the unfamiliar is obviously very difficult for me and I have a really bad sense of direction).

One problem has been knowing where to go for certain things at uni. Who to see about what, that kind of thing. It just took my missing some lectures and neglecting to complete some modules that meant I had to seek help. I also needed a diagnosis to receive any proper help, though, and I think that if I hadn't already known about ASDs then I wouldn't have known where to turn and I would surely have failed because I would have felt I had no reason to eventually get some help. As things stand I may or may not be able to dig myself out of my current situation, but there is a little hope left, so maybe I will...

I have had a couple of older male students harrass me a little (one time they both tried to kiss me but I freaked out and they left me alone, and one of them in particular would constantly tell me things like that he liked my hair or that I was photogenic or looked good on film (we had to do some filming). This is different though, as they are at least avoidable and I'm pretty sure they were trying to be flattering, rather than patronising and downright mean (although it was unpleasant).

I definitely think that a diagnosis is worth having. Some people might be able to cope without one, but I can't do things that other people would deem normal and natural to be able to cope with so I am relying on my diagnosis to help me with those kinds of things. There are not enough services, in my estimation, or knowledge in general, and I wish you all the best in getting yours.

[hesperus]

I definitely think that a diagnosis is worth having. Some people might be able to cope without one, but I can't do things that other people would deem normal and natural to be able to cope with so I am relying on my diagnosis to help me with those kinds of things. There are not enough services, in my estimation, or knowledge in general, and I wish you all the best in getting yours.

Thanks. I'm also beginning to see a diagnosis that way. I feel very vulnerable at my new uni sometimes. Like you said, it's easy to get off track over 'small' things that others take for granted. One example happened to me just this afternoon when I got an email telling me off for not returning some form to the department. The trouble is I'm not sure where the relevant office is. Unlike others, I have no clue where most things are, who most people are, or about unwritten responsibilities. I don't seek out my supervisor for feedback so am constantly paranoid someone's about to say "Enough's enough, we're asking you to leave". This has happened in my employment history, and what's really disturbing is how I completely missed any warning signs. I assumed working hard would be enough.

The diagnosis could definitely help in this way. It would help explain why I try to avoid conferences and courses, and why I might come across as aloof, arrogant, and all that. My past experiences have left me so paranoid, that even the email I got today gives me a feeling of dread and that I'm about to be chucked out. Every daily detail to do with employment or courses is so hard to cope with, and as you said, there's a big lack of services and knowledge around things like ASDs and their diagnosis. I hope your current situation works out for you.