This may sound insignificant, but....

[Blandit]

Why am I the ONLY one who doesn't know anything? It seems that EVERYONE else knows what to do but me!

I was the ONLY parent to accompany her daughter to a college orientation. I was politely informed when I got there, that due to "space issues" there were to be no parents on the tour. Thanks for telling us that on the phone!!!****

I was also the ONLY parent to take my kid to softball placement trials without a mitt. They supply bats and balls so I figured there would be mitts. It never dawned on me to bring a mitt. Once again, I was the only one there with this problem.

And these are just a couple of examples; this happens to me all of the time! How is it that the whole world in "in the know" except me? Are they just born with an extra sense or something? How come I don't automatically know this stuff?

[Iam]

It is not just you.
You just are not around when I do the same type of thing.

[goddessoflubbock]

We really do all need to move into the same zip code at least.

Why was I the only one who didn't get the memo that it was a "lunch meeting"? I just figured geez, I finally moved my lunch to noon, now I have to take it at 1 again to accomodate meetings.

I took my older son to baseball tryouts one time with nothing - no bat, no ball, no glove. I figured it's at the batting cages, they have good stuff. When they called for his "father" and I came running, you could HEAR the groans of understanding.

I sent DH to "planning day", a meeting where classes for next year are gone over for DS. I was advised (in unhappy tones) that DH was the ONLY parent there. Apparently it was for the kids, although I still had the flyer that invited parents too. How did they ALL know not to show up?

We do that kind of stuff constantly.

[SomethingElse]

It's the same for me and my parents. They're the ones who'll take things literally or think that something must be one way when really it's a different way.

I had my mum come to uni with me once and she was meant to wait outside but she came in to help me out with something, which was pretty horrific for me since the guy behind the desk let her through so she could come help me (when I could have figured it out on my own) and no one else has EVER had a parent with them at the university. And she's very verbal as well so while I'm trying to draw as little attention to myself and my mistakes as possible she's asking me questions loudly and saying things loudly...

I can't think of examples, really, but as I read what you said it did strike a chord.

[Sophist]

Why am I the ONLY one who doesn't know anything? It seems that EVERYONE else knows what to do but me!

I was the ONLY parent to accompany her daughter to a college orientation. I was politely informed when I got there, that due to "space issues" there were to be no parents on the tour. Thanks for telling us that on the phone!!!****

I was also the ONLY parent to take my kid to softball placement trials without a mitt. They supply bats and balls so I figured there would be mitts. It never dawned on me to bring a mitt. Once again, I was the only one there with this problem.

And these are just a couple of examples; this happens to me all of the time! How is it that the whole world in "in the know" except me? Are they just born with an extra sense or something? How come I don't automatically know this stuff?

Yeah! And I sometimes wonder the same thing about all these "grownup" responsibilities like paying bills and getting things done. It seems like the nonautistic world has an internal manual that clicks on come adulthood where they know how to do all this stuff without being told what to do or where to go to find out what to do.

Although I do know I always brought my glove to softball. But I'm not certain if that isn't just because I already had a glove and prefered my own and would never use another person's.

[SomethingElse]

I don't know if we actually do sports that involve having to take anything with us (other than things that definitely wouldn't be provided, like for karate you take your own gee, and sparring pads, but that's pretty obvious because by the time you purchase those things you already know that they're not provided at the club).

For my first drum lesson I chose not to take my own sticks (I had some strange idea that either I just might not be meant to take my own or that his might be different and therefore better and I'd like a good look at them so I'd know to buy those ones if I felt they were better to use). In that situation it's pretty obvious he'd have a spare set of sticks lying around though and even if he hadn't it would have meant having to share his... but a drummer with only one set of sticks to hand... not likely... Haha. He had the same sticks as me though, and I noticed that the person who was after me had brought their own sticks, so after that I started taking my own.

[Another World]

I feel your pain!

I find myself in the same situation all the time. I have gotten better at asking questions though, like when signing up my kid for something, I ask "is there anything they need to bring?"

I find at school I end up in trouble with my daughter. In the winter, I don't own any scarfs. The teacher sees this as a problem, my daughter is the only one without a scarf, and she "loans" her one. Sends me out scrambling to buy "scarfs". Thing is, I worry that scarfs are choking hazards, but it is ONLY me that worries about this! *sigh*

Today I send her without coat. It was HOT! I put sunscreen on her! Everyone else has a spring jacket, and I am informed that she "needs a coat!"

Oh well, I figure I get a bit better every year!

[Blandit]

Benji wrote: I had my mum come to uni with me once and she was meant to wait outside but she came in to help me out with something, which was pretty horrific for me

(sorry, but it's a comical scene!)

My daughter actually asked me to come; I tried to get out of it because we had to drive for an hour to an unfamiliar place and stay there for 3 hours; all of which I hate. She wanted help and advice. She wanted it from me, as well as an academic advisor because she's not as outspoken as I am and sometimes pretends like she understands things (afraid to appear stupid) instead of speaking up like I would; not aware that it might make me look stupid. But I would never go if she didn't want me to. I wouldn't want to embarrass her.

[SomethingElse]

I was only going to pay my student fees. It's a half hour journey on the underground each way so I do it all the time. I wasn't sure where to pay but they told me in there, and it would have been fine without my mum in there asking me things, asking them things, and commenting and stuff. But I know she only does it cos she cares and wants to help...

She came with me the day before I started just to make sure I knew how to get there because I didn't bother going to the open day and kept telling me to go across and have a look but I was so worried about it that I decided not to.

[Blandit]

I feel your pain!

I find myself in the same situation all the time. I have gotten better at asking questions though, like when signing up my kid for something, I ask "is there anything they need to bring?"

I find at school I end up in trouble with my daughter. In the winter, I don't own any scarfs. The teacher sees this as a problem, my daughter is the only one without a scarf, and she "loans" her one. Sends me out scrambling to buy "scarfs". Thing is, I worry that scarfs are choking hazards, but it is ONLY me that worries about this! *sigh*

Today I send her without coat. It was HOT! I put sunscreen on her! Everyone else has a spring jacket, and I am informed that she "needs a coat!"

Oh well, I figure I get a bit better every year!

I, too have done this. I usually resist the pressure to conform if it is inconsequential, but I have been caving in alot since my kids go to public school now (when you homeschool, you can go outside in your underwear in Dec. if you'd like: but we didn't!). I don't want to embarrass them or have them repeating my mistakes. It seems to be much more important to them to be well-liked and blend in with the status quo than it ever was to me. It is killing me though; goes right against the grain.

[Blandit]

Sophist wrote: Although I do know I always brought my glove to softball. But I'm not certain if that isn't just because I already had a glove and prefered my own and would never use another person's.


I am sure that most people just pick up on some social cue; some observation that I missed. I don't always draw conclusions from what I see around me. But maybe in your case it is different. If you have your own glove, why not bring it? Come to think of it, I don't know why my daughter didn't bring hers. Could be that she inherited my terrible organizational skills!

[Blandit]

We really do all need to move into the same zip code at least.



I took my older son to baseball tryouts one time with nothing - no bat, no ball, no glove. I figured it's at the batting cages, they have good stuff. When they called for his "father" and I came running, you could HEAR the groans of understanding.

I sent DH to "planning day", a meeting where classes for next year are gone over for DS. I was advised (in unhappy tones) that DH was the ONLY parent there. Apparently it was for the kids, although I still had the flyer that invited parents too. How did they ALL know not to show up?.

Sounds like the story of my life. But why do they have everything but gloves? and why the he** don't they tell you to bring a mitt when they call you and inform you of the tryouts? I would.

[Blandit]

It is not just you.
You just are not around when I do the same type of thing.

Well, then; at least I am in good company.

[adhocisadirtyword]

Wow - every day it seems that I do something like this. And I'm constantly getting that "Are you stupid or something" look. I find myself always sending my child to school based on how the weather was the day previously rather than checking. And I've gotten so many calls about shoes of all things.

I've given up caring... if people are going to make stupid rules like no parents should show up despite clearly stating that everyone is welcome, then I'm going to do what I want to and do it with pride.

[Aspen]

I've given up caring... if people are going to make stupid rules like no parents should show up despite clearly stating that everyone is welcome, then I'm going to do what I want to and do it with pride.

Me too!