Noctivagus

[Sophist]

And I hate to say it, but no matter how much I care for ALL the members here, there are just some days I don't have the energy to reciprocate and I have to be selfish.

[sistersunshine]

I'm stunned and amazed.

I was going to ask 'why?' but then I thought and put myself in your shoes... I suppose I'd be astounded if somebody said that to me also Its true though. I noticed your absense and regretted that you were not around here any more.

LOL I wish I had ab-sense. Maybe then I'd have a six-pack!

I have to be honest, I stopped posting here because I asked a question one time and nobody responded and I kinda felt shut out.

You do realise I'm about to try and find that question now I am very very sorry that you ever felt 'shut out' here. I have a default where I feel the same, I do not expect to be liked and when I am liked I feel like I'm balancing on a wire of the chasm of 'failure and unwanted', bound to fall out of favour sooner or later. I think it dictates some of my responses.

Yes. I know... at the time I thought perhaps I had said something wrong or whatever. That innate sense of "wrongness" that pervades my existence more often than not...

I am really sorry that nobody answered your question. I do not know whether I could have done so but failed you. If I have nothing to say, I tend not to post unless it would be impolite otherwise. Not to criticise Gestalt, but I have read elsewhere that some think us cliquey... I do not think we are, but I accept that we might seem that way to some unintentionally. We are quite a quiet forum.

I often don't post even when I do have something to say because I don't want to overwhelm people with my responses.

As far as I am concerned, you were a member that I particularly valued. I felt I clicked with you

Thanks. That's nice to hear from a fellow musician.

That was WAYYYYYYY before my actual dx... which, BTW, my boss knows about. He's had a lot of psychology classes, since he studied to be a music therapist. He's very Spectrum-y although he knows nothing about us. LOL he'll learn!

And to steal from your reply to Sophist...

It's a lovely atmosphere in which to work... ...Today the assistant manager called in sick and the new boss kinda made me his right hand. Since I'm good at organizing things, he now has me organizing the back room tomorrow, and wants me to get the whole place shipshape so that everything can be easily found and used. (Unlike now)

It's nice to feel so needed.

Sounds like you have a great Boss there and a good job I'm now off to your posting history to see if I can find that question [/quote]

Yes. My boss is a swell guy. I think he needs me more than anyone I've ever met... because the things he needs done just fit right into my skillset so well it's like putting on a tailored suit. I can tell you what the question was, or the gist of it at least. It was about having a sensation of being "scattered" and experiencing "brain static" at times. I've learned since then in other forums that it's a pretty common phenomenon among the more sensitive and intuitive types. I think they have us (Spectrumites) all wrong... we are people of extremes - either hyper- or hyposensitive and sometimes bouncing back and forth between the two.

[sistersunshine]

Just for reference, I don't want to ever purposefully ignore anyone here on Gestalt.

If I don't reply to a post, it's either because I just can't seem to find anything relevant or interesting to say, or because I don't have the mental energy to reply.

I'm sorry you felt shut out, sunshine. For me, personally, I don't ever want anyone to feel that way here.

Thanks. It's okay... no harm done. It's nice to be back over here posting again.

[sistersunshine]

And I hate to say it, but no matter how much I care for ALL the members here, there are just some days I don't have the energy to reciprocate and I have to be selfish.

I can certainly relate to that. There are days when I don't go near the computer because I've been so burnt out... the last two days I've hardly been online because I've been helping my boss organize a monumental mess. I'm off tomorrow but I'm tempted to go in anyway to see that someone doesn't re-mess-up (too brain-dead right now to think of a better word or term) the part we haven't finished with yet... but I do need the rest.

[Sophist]

Did you end up going in?

[sistersunshine]

No... a friend stopped by and we spent most of the afternoon out in my yard enjoying the bunny and the butterfly garden.

[Sophist]

Sounds lovely.

***tries to stay warm in the freezing cold weather***

[sistersunshine]

I miss snow... but it is nice to go out barefoot in shorts and a t-shirt... in December

[Sophist]

We almost had that too, heh. Can't recall whether that was last December or the one before, but it was in the high 60s I think...

I miss that. If we're going to have Global Warming, I'd at least like some more of the benefits, like a longer fall, hehe. I mean, if we're going to be subjected to more extremes, I'd at least like to be subjected to the warmer extreme during wintertime.

I know a good cold winter kills off the bugs more. But it seems like what with the extended summers we're getting, the bugs have more time to get just as bad than if we'd have a mild winter and a regular summer.

I'm looking forward to spending my next summer in Louisville and not St. Louis. This old house seems to have LOADS of cracks for the bugs to slip in...

[sistersunshine]

Ha ha try living here where there is no winter and the bugs NEVER die off unless you kill them!

[Sophist]

Another reason I will never live in Florida if I can help it.