DH medical issue

[goddessoflubbock]

So hubby is generally healthy, especially since halving his weight a few years ago down to 180.

This part is a little tmi......

Since before I met him he's taken OTC pills to help him go to the bathroom. It used to be every 2-3 days but it's been daily for quite some time now. His daily schedule revolves around when he'll need to use the bathroom. Also when he does go it's never "one and done". He's in and out of the bathroom up to a half dozen times.

I tried 17 years ago to get him to stop taking the pills, he did it for me for two weeks. He never was able to empty his bowels that entire time. Back then he had awesome insurance but refused to see a doctor.

Now I've noticed he's having problems urinating as well. It takes awhile for him to start. He's 47 so he's a little young for BPH.

I am very concerned but I can't force him to the doctors.

Could it just be his colon doesn't know how to work on it's own?

[Sophist]

Given his age, his prostate's probably more enlarged; that might be causing some of the urinary stuff, though he does need to be having that checked every couple years now (just like women and breast exams).

As for his bowels though, that's a confusing one. Have you asked him whether he has worse problems with anxiety. For myself, anxiety can definitely "plug up the hole". I think he'd definitely need to see a gastroenterologist though. I'd only be guessing. Has he ever had normal bowel movements when he was younger? What started it off?

[Aspen]

Some people have a greater tendency to be constipated than others. I wonder if taking some MiraLax every day would help him keep things moving more like they should be? He could adjust the amount as needed to get the exact amount he needs.

And 47 is not too young for BPH. I know someone who got it in his late twenties or early thirties and needed surgery to fix it. His poor wife blamed herself because she had endometriosis.

[goddessoflubbock]

I think the bowel thing started after his first wife died. As for anxiety, I don't know. He doesn't talk about things, at all... He doesn't seem anxious but he has good reason to be I guess.

I am trying to wean him off the ex-lax type stuff and on to colace and metamucil.

The urinary issue is a concern, especially since he also has had issues with ****TMI****
maintaing an erection and closing the deal....which was never an issue when hw weighed 360 lbs, oddly enough...

[Sophist]

The urinary issue is a concern, especially since he also has had issues with ****TMI**** maintaing an erection and closing the deal....which was never an issue when hw weighed 360 lbs, oddly enough...

Hmm, that's strange. Although you've also spoken more about problems in your marriage. Maybe it's a psychological thing, indicative of what's occurred since then and not really an issue with the weight at all?

[goddessoflubbock]

It could be. I was surprised tho bc it had been a long time (well for me, can't say for him actually) so I expected more of a jumping the gun response..

I think tho most of the problems in the marriage have been on my end. Not that I caused them necessarily, but that I'm the only one who is bothered by them. He truly believes he's done nothing wrong, which is the most exasperating thing, I've willingly admitted to my mistakes - but I never repeated them and they aren't ongoing.

Anyhow, I guess at the end of the day I need him to outlive me

[Sophist]

Manny can be equally frustrating. When he thinks he's right, there's no rationalization to convince him otherwise.

[goddessoflubbock]

He refuses to believe you can cheat without having sex basically.

Women are generally more emotionally invested but I know he just says that to make himself feel better.

He refuses to see a doc so I can't do anything.

[Sophist]

He refuses to believe you can cheat without having sex basically.

Sounds familiar. As though sex, rings, and names on paper make a "marriage" rather than what one feels.

[goddessoflubbock]

He did make vows to me, including fidelity.

[Aspen]

He refuses to believe you can cheat without having sex basically.

Women are generally more emotionally invested but I know he just says that to make himself feel better.

He did make vows to me, including fidelity.

Bill Clinton had that same definition of cheating in mind, where it's cheating only if straight sexual intercourse is involved. I think it's just a rationalization.

[renaeden]

I have heard that laxatives can be addictive - so if your DH has been taking them for many years, his colon probably can't function without them, so it is no wonder he couldn't go when he quit the laxatives for a while.

Alternatives to them is probably a good idea. He really should go to the doctors though!

[goddessoflubbock]

DH has popped up with another problem, tho it seems unrelated to above.

About a month ago he developed redness on his neck. He had also become allergic to his spray deodorant which he sprayed with "reckless abandon"!! I figured a week or two off the spray would fix it but it didn't. I bought him Noxema sensitive shaving cream, and finally it seemed to resolve itself.

This morning he woke up with mottled rosy cheeks. He is typically very pale like me. By the end if the day his cheeks were bright red and had a burning sensation.

I didn't find much help on the Internet. Seems it could be sunburn (nope) Windhoek (another no) thyroid or rosacea.

It seemed to come on too fast for either thyroid (which I think he'd have other symptoms?) or rosacea.

He's put some of my Olay cream on and it has eased the burning somewhat, just wondering what will come in the morning?

We are in the process of sharing a URI here, complete with sore throat and coughing. DD even had laryngitis the other day Sorry but the quiet was amazing....

Could he suddenly be developing allergies at 47?

[Sophist]

It's possible to develop an allergy at any age, because new antibodies for potentiall allergens are continually developed throughout the lifespan. If you've heard of DNA recombination, in which the DNA is spliced and reformed to come up with new arrangements, this process is used during very early development to splice mom's and dad's DNA, but it also continually happens in the bone marrow to produce antibodies, so that there's the potential to recognize any new antigen at any time in life.

Is it less likely to happen at his age? Probably. The likelihood he's run through his antibody gamut several times over is likely, especially if we're talking about a common antigen. But changes in health, hormones, and lifestyle can increase the level to which he reacts. If it IS an allergy, he may've been allergic for some time but perhaps the URI is increasing the level to which he's reactive to the allergen.

That's my best slightly-edumacated guess. Although that doesn't mean that it IS allergies. Just answering as if it were.

[goddessoflubbock]

Well he's still red this morning, altho he says the cream is keeping the burning down a bit.

There's also a blushing syndrome, where people can get red from a specific rib level on up, and it can be quitte debilitating. I'll have to catch him shirtless today.