adhocisadirtyword wrote:beware_the_sluagh wrote:Another thing that scares me - maybe this is the female counterpart of the male "seeing what they deem a beautiful person and wanting to have sex with her" thing - is how women are all supposed to be wanting to have children and so on. I have zero desire to have children, and actually have an anti-desire towards the possibility. I hope it will change because my husband wants to have kids, but at the moment, I can't ever see it changing. It makes me very sad actually. Unfortunately no one ever takes what I say seriously, so I don't think he believes that it's just not possible :(
Could it be a hormone thing? I've noticed lately that my biological clock has decided to kick in to full gear (past year or so - and I'm 30 now). I'm trying to live vicariously through my best friend's baby though so I don't crave one too badly.
Intellectually, I don't want another child. But biologically my body has different ideas.
I'm 35 and still have no hankering to reproduce (nor do I feel anything but revulsion towards babies, infants, or kids). Am uncomfortable belonging to demographic (gender & age) with assumed expected fixations such as "females, especially once they hit that age, are interested in children". Nope nope nope, not me.
Makes it harder to find compatible acquaintances, since those in my theoretical "peer group" are not people with whom I share common priorities/occupation. People I used to be friends with turn into parents & I quickly lose touch with them, it's like they've joined a cult (or witness protection)-no offense intended, that's just my relative viewpoint. They become different people (which makes sense), but it's unfortunate on my end because I can't/won't follow the majority of other humans in doing that thing, surrendering my life to creating another being.
It (pregnancy plus parenting) doesn't appeal to me whatsoever-yet it seems like the general opinion of childless people is negative: pity or scorn, depending on whether it's accidental or intentional situation. I think in that way I'm judged with a double standard, if I were male my attitude/reaction (of disliking all children as a rule & not wanting to have my own) would be considered at least somewhat more "normal"/expected, but since I'm female this sort of sentiment is derided as pathological, abnormal, and unnatural.
Recently read Jessica Valenti's book "Full Frontal Feminism" and there were a bunch of facts & quotes (from people with whom I disagree strenuously) that were awful. I'm a liberal & so is the book's author, so this is what I'm reacting to (in case I sound too vociferous, that's why)-examples of what are (to me) offensively broad statements about how men & women are, from idiotic public figures.