Aspen wrote:I think that my daughter is very securely attached to me, yet she is autistic. I'm warm and caring and certainly am no 'Refrigerator Mother.' I feel like I can actually understand many of her issues better than most other people would be able to do, because I share some of them myself. I could understand her even when other people couldn't and I'm devoted to giving her the best life possible.
I feel the exact same way about my son and daughter. Especially my daughter who is ever so much a Daddy's girl (my son, whilst bonded well to me from birth, is more Mummy orientated, like I was as a child)
We are a close and loving family, lots of cuddles for all... both to and from each other.
However there are certain things mentioned that have made me wonder about attachment from within. This primed for attachment thing, providing I understand it correctly. Perhaps, many (not all) Autistics are primed for attachment and yet the priming area of the brain doesn't communicate to the attachment area of the brain and so the autistic remains in Primed mode, regardless of a loving accepting, happy environment... if you get what I mean. Rather like the transmission/reception of emotional communication part of Autism. I have started wondering if that might be the case with me. From babyhood right through to today, my wife and mother say how affectionate I am... however, I always feel uncertain that I am liked/loved and things come down to trusting what the person says rather than recognition in other ways that what they say is true. Is this from my personal history as an Autistic person being possibly bullied into self-esteem issues, or is this something biological regarding my autism wiring.
Sorry if that might be vague or confusing... I've only just started giving this sort of thing some thought. I appreciate I might be barking up a tree without a paddle
Aspen wrote:I know that you are the opposite of a 'Refrigerator Father' yourself and you are equally devoted to your children.
Lots of cuddles, and play (as far as my arthritis will permit), and laughter
I hope I give my children what they need from a father, regardless of my autism. Irene, my wife (and NT), is a very very warm and caring person... who like me adores our children... our whole universe revolves around the children
We waited many years of marriage before starting a family, but we wanted to be ready and mature enough... we always wanted to have children... I wanted five, however pregnancies were not kind to Irene and our two are worth five to us anyway